After years of taking pot shots at the potbellied former POTUS named Donald, the recent midterm elections have me reevaluating my disdain for this shit-stain on democracy. Without meaning offense to the rest of the species, I still think he’s a horrible human being. Arguably one of the worst. But much like Mitch McConnell* recognized, Donald Trump may very well be a useful idiot! For Mitch, the orange bitch allowed him to install a bunch of judicial benchwarmers who will ensure a legacy of destruction to civil rights for years to come. Kavanaugh and Barrett are unforgivable. If Mitch were on fire and I had to piss like a Kentucky Derby entrant, I’d gladly squeeze out a deuce instead. But lately I’ve been seeing the silver lining in Mr. Mar a Lago. Like the Silver Line itself, this has been a long time coming! *(MM is equally horrible, but more diabolical).
I live in the vicinity of our Nation’s Capital. Far enough from the fray that I only locked the doors during the insurrection without having to shelter in the basement, but close enough that I am in deep Redskins / WFT / Commanders territory and can understand the previous Silver Line metro reference. Around here, pretty much everyone hates Dan Snyder. He is held in the same regard as slug slime, maggot puke, Eric Trump. By all accounts, there seems to be little if any redeeming value in Mr. Snyder. For years he insisted upon upholding a racist team name. He is currently battling multiple accusations of unconscionable behavior amid a culture of rampant abuse. He has an unseemly reputation of treating pretty much everyone like dirt, including digging it up on his closest friends. No respect for the environment. Just looking at him, you can tell that he’s… unpleasant, for fear of being sued by someone with more money than morals or compunction.
Most people in the DC Metropolitan area would love nothing more than to see him run out of town on a rail and then passed over by a speeding Six Flags rollercoaster on that same rail, allowing the sale of the team to someone with a reputation cleaner than the Anacostia. Recent news has suggested such a possibility may come to fruition (sale of the team at least, not the crushing coaster). While most of the local fanbase is rejoicing at this prospect, some of us transplants are hoping against hope that it falls through.
Personally, I’d pee my pants before dowsing his suffering in his Mitch-like immolation. (The whole lot can and hopefully will burn in hell someday). But another part of me wants to see Snyder continue in his current role as leader of the Landover-based football club with the constantly changing names. How can I defend this guy?
Because I’m selfish. Does Bill Belichick despise the rival Jets? Hardly. He (usually) loves those guys. Likewise, under the Snyde’s leadership, the Philadelphia Eagles have managed a 29-18 record, including a 9-2 edge in the last six years (heading into Monday night’s showdown). In a highly competitive 2022 NFC East where three teams have 20 wins against 4 losses, Mr. Snyder’s fourth team has 5 losses alone (as of this specific date of writing). Dan Snyder is the best thing to happen to Eagles football since… 1960? He single-handedly took a once proud football tradition and turned it into a doormat. Which very well may end up being the team’s next name (they seem to be running through options pretty quickly in recent years, almost as fast as they cycle through quarterbacks).
Full disclosure, I’m originally from Philly, in case you’ve missed the obvious. And everyone knows that bad things happen in Philly.
But let’s bring this back to our original villain. After a five paragraph tangent, why would I defend Donald Tangerine? Because he’s a loser. Just like Snyder. He’s toxic. Reverse Midas touch. Burgundy and gold under Snyder might as well be the same black mold as you’ll probably find in that pathetic FedEx Field, just like Trump’s golden throne is a superficial fake coating on a cesspool of turds and shredded documents.
My Eagles may not be the best team in the league. My Democrat party may not be the ideal either. But compared to the Commanders / MAGA Republicans, it is no contest! When your rival is so despicable that it makes your half decent team look like all stars, would you want them to change?
Biden’s a good guy, empathetic as they come. But he’s also as old as the dirt that Snyder’s been digging up on Jerry Jones. But Trump is so heinous that he makes Joey B look like vintage Tom Brady, minus the stupid red hat. (Meanwhile Liz Warren is like the black Babe Ruth of the Babe’s era, kept out of the game by the racist (sexist) populists).
DeSantis is a fucking Cowboy. Those guys are dangerous. They are dicks, and they know how to play. They scare me. They’re really not that good, but for some reason they are still considered America’s Team*, and gun-toting numbskulls pull for them. Given the choice between an incompetent idiot and a malevolent motherfucker with (slightly) more than half a brain, I’d rather run up against the former with the stakes as high as they are. Does that mean that I’ll be donating to Trump’s Super PAC to strengthen his legal defenses / primary chances as an easier opponent to beat in a general election? Of course not. What kind of shady shit is that, DNC? But it does mean that I may not be ready for Trump to roll his golf cart off into the sunset, when he can keep pushing out easy wins for my team. *(The same America that once elected DJT and twice GWB, FFS).
Go Birds! Hail Fetterman! Long live Democracy!
Traipse Reports - Trips and Races 