How do you take a 448 page document, with indexes alone totaling nine pages, and condense it down to 4 pages? It’s actually pretty easy. Remember those lame book reports you used to hand in for school assignments? Granted most of the books weren’t quite 448 pages long, but the same thinking (or lack thereof) applies. For instance, I am prepared to summarize the Mueller Report for you in less than 4 pages. I’ll take up less space than Billy Barr because I don’t have the benefit or burden of the full report because of the large sections that were redacted (HOM is Mueller’s meditative interlude, like a “serenity now” mantra that will ultimately lead to him snapping and smashing things like Hulk). Based on Barr’s interview and Trump’s tweets, I can only assume that the redacted sections simply talked about how great #45 is, and how evil Crooked Hillary is still plotting to destroy our children, probably in the basement of a one-story pizza shop.
As for the non-redacted portions, I’ll admit that I didn’t read them all. Again, this is the same treatment as the school essays, where you glean the pertinent info from the inside cover of the book and use lots of filler words, like really, really, and very, very often.
I really wanted to say I read the whole report. But I really couldn’t justify printing out 448 pages at work. And I’m very lazy.
I read enough to present a slightly biased analysis based on my own experience as a person who has read a few Grisham novels and watched some episodes of Law & Order, so I’m about as qualified a legal mind as Matt Whitaker.
VOLUME I of II
Quid Pro Quo is Latin for “something for something” literally, not just me being sloppy and plugging in somethings for something else. I kept coming back to this while skimming Mueller’s summary report. Maybe it’s because my Latin lessons from high school have an everlasting effect and haunt me XXX years later, or maybe it’s because “something” seems fishy. Prior to the first wave of hacked emails being released, someone on the Trump Campaign (Papadope) bragged that “the Trump Campaign had received indications from the Russian government that it could assist the Campaign through the anonymous release of information damaging to Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton.”
The Godfather opens up with an exchanging of favors. It is not one for one, something for something on the spot, but instead that “someday, and that day may never come, I will call upon you to do a service for me…” Godfather (Mother) Russia gave the Trump campaign support in the form of illegally obtained information on Hillary Clinton and the DNC, as well as their targeted social media efforts to promote DJT and disparage HRC. While Trump loves his mafioso tough-guy image, isn’t he Fredo at best? “I’m smart! Not like everybody say, like dumb, I’m smart and I want respect!”
Putin’s daughter’s wedding happened to be Trump’s election, a happy occasion for the Godfather to celebrate the handing off of his annoying daughter to the abusive husband… uh oh, are we the abusive husband in this scenario and Donald was the persecuted witch after all? Clemenza, kill me now.
Although Mueller’s “investigation established that the Russian government perceived it would benefit from a Trump presidency and worked to secure that outcome, and that the Campaign expected it would benefit electorally from information stolen and released through Russian efforts, the investigation did not establish that members of the Trump Campaign conspired or coordinated with the Russian government in its election interference activities.” Elsewhere, he “understood coordination to require an agreement – tacit or express – between the Trump Campaign and the Russian government on election interference. That requires more than the two parties taking actions that were informed by or responsive to the other’s actions or interests. We applied the term coordination in that sense when stating in the report that the investigation did not establish that the Trump Campaign coordinated with the Russian government in its election interference activities.” So while the Russians were doing their part to help Trump, and Trump’s team was gratefully accepting this unlawful help and encouraging it, there was no implied arrangement… Wait, isn’t this what a tacit agreement is? Tacit = implied, unspoken, understood. Expressing support for the Russians – isn’t that an express agreement? “Russia, if you’re listening, I hope you’re able to find the 30,000 emails…” “Wikileaks, I love Wikileaks!” Express = unambiguous, definitely stated, not merely implied (Google dictionary), and I’m not sure how much more direct he could have been.
If you were running a race (or other competition), and some outside party really wanted you to win, and you really wanted to win, and that outside party set it up so that the opposition would be tripped up and you knew that, but you didn’t order them to trip her (“if it’s what you say I love it”, notwithstanding), and you then took great efforts to obstruct the investigation of why this interference happened, is your victory tainted? Are you guilty of something? Maybe just a little. Call me humble, but I’m pretty sure if I won that race I wouldn’t go around bragging about it for years afterwards. Even if Tonya Harding knew nothing, there was guilt by association for her (too bad for her that she wasn’t a rich guy. Instead of Giuliani and Barr in her corner, she had to make do with Gillooly and his baton).
Lacking the smoking (or smocking) gun, even though there was plenty of smoke, Mueller felt unable to prove beyond a reasonable doubt that the participants knowingly and willfully knew they were doing something wrong.
Ignorantia juris non excusat – what’s that? Apparently ignorance is an excuse in the case of Kushner, Junior and Manafort. In the case of the first two, isn’t it bad enough that they’ve gotten as far in life on ignorance (and family wealth)? Now it’s a get out of jail free card (much like family wealth or Presidential pardons). It’s kind of like if your parents are super rich and they pay some slimy third party to cheat your way into a better school than you deserve, but you didn’t pay them yourself and can plausibly deny knowledge of the nefarious activities (being too ignorant to recognize that you were unqualified for admission), does that make you innocent in the matter? In the eyes of Mueller, it appears so. In the eyes of Trump, it makes you smart. (To be unfair, Fred Trump and Charles Kushner did not hire Rick Singer. They bribed their way in to UPenn and Harvard directly).
The rich and ignorant get the overpriced, unearned degrees, cheat on their taxes, wives, and business deals, steal elections, grab pussies, plunder the environment, yo ho, yo ho, a pirate’s life for thee.
There was also the challenge of establishing the value of the campaign contribution from the foreign nationals, because how do you put a price on stolen information? If it’s over $2k, it’s a misdemeanor. Over $25k, it’s a felony. For the high-priced horse(‘s ass) power assembled for the infamous Trump Tower meeting, assuming all of the execs and lawyers charge typical exec and lawyer rates, I’m pretty sure they surpassed these thresholds. Would a campaign that spent hundreds of millions of dollars have been willing to spend $25k for “opposition research” from the Russian government? Ostensibly the Russkies failed to deliver on their promised goods for this particular meeting, meaning that for the purpose of Mueller’s report, it did not count as conspiratorial. Even the Steele dossier cost more than $25k by a few multipliers or forty. The four hundred pound Russian hackers in their beds were probably on someone’s payroll. Why else would they waste precious internet time on hacking DNC emails when there is so much readily available porn? (Fat hackers like porn too you know). Usually to get to four hundred pounds, you need to eat, which costs money (unless you’re getting to four hundred pounds starving down from five hundred). How much does a good hack cost? This is not to say that Trump’s Campaign paid the hackers. They didn’t. They just reaped the benefits, but Mueller could not valuate the disinformation campaign or stolen information.
Russia helped Trump for free* so Trump is not a party to illegal criminal conspiracy (not to be confused with “collusion”). *Pretty sure Trump is in their debt and will wake up one day with a horsehead in his bed or covered in Russian hooker pee, but not sure what message that will send to the guy. Though it is possible that Putin’s altruistic genius is not to even need to call on Trump to return the favor, trusting that our very stable genius is dumb enough to serve his (Putin’s) higher purposes through sheer ignorance, MAGAing US out of position as a global superpower.
“Further, the Office learned that some of the individuals we interviewed or whose conduct we investigated – including some associated with the Trump Campaign – deleted relevant communications or communicated during the relevant period using applications that feature encryption or that do not provide for long-term retention of data or communications records.” Remember this the next time that Trump brings up Hillary’s emails, which he’s probably done a few times during the course of this reading. “The investigation established that several individuals affiliated with the Trump Campaign lied to the Office, and to Congress, about their interactions with Russian-affiliated individuals and related matters. Those lies materially impaired the investigation of Russian election interference.”
Conclusion? Trump’s team was playing along with the Russians who were helping them. That guy running the race where his competitor was tripped up by “friends”? He didn’t bother to tell the course marshals that some shady shit was going down or do anything to prevent the cheating that paved his way to victory. Politics is dirty business. Cheaters do win. In the words of Tom Brady, “Suck my deflated balls.” (Or was that Robert Kraft?)
Preview to Volume II – “President Trump reacted negatively to the Special Counsel’s appointment.” Say what you will of Robert Mueller, but he has to be the all time master of understatement for that gem.
VOLUME II of II
“If we had confidence after a thorough investigation of the facts that the President clearly did not commit obstruction of justice, we would so state. Based on the facts and the applicable legal standards, however, we are unable to reach that judgment. The evidence we obtained about the President’s actions and intent presents difficult issues that prevent us from conclusively determining that no criminal conduct occurred. Accordingly, while this report does not conclude that the President committed a crime, it also does not exonerate him.” Mueller repeats this verbatim throughout, in his Introduction (Page 2), Executive Summary (Page 8), and Conclusion (Page 182). I skipped most of the report, but those three sections seemed pertinent for getting the flavor. How did Barr miss this? Oh yeah, Justice is Blind, so the AG should be blind too. And 448 pages of braille would prick even the prickliest of prick’s fingers.
“We recognized that a federal criminal accusation against a sitting President would place burdens on the President’s capacity to govern and potentially preempt constitutional processes for addressing presidential misconduct… We determined not to apply an approach that could potentially result in a judgment that the President committed crimes… Fairness concerns counseled against potentially reaching that judgment when no charges can be brought…” Mueller’s report seems to make a strong point of not prosecuting because of limits of jurisdictional authority, yet this point seems to have also escaped Barr’s notice. And this was on Page 1, so his fat fucking fingers should have been able to read it.
To save you hundreds of pages, Mueller cites efforts to remove the Special Counsel, efforts to curtail the Special Counsel’s investigation, efforts to prevent public disclosure of evidence, further efforts to have the Attorney General take control of the investigation, etc. “The President engaged in a second phase of conduct, involving public attacks on the investigation, non-public efforts to control it, and efforts in both public and private to encourage witnesses not to cooperate with the investigation. Judgments about the nature of the President’s motives… would be informed by the totality of the evidence.” On this last point Mueller missed the mark. Judgment was not informed by any evidence; but was instead passed without reviewing any of the evidence by the guy Trump picked to be Attorney General. Quid pro quo?
Trump’s illicit actions involved Comey, McFarland, Flynn, Cohen, Stone (HOM), Manafort, McGahn, Lewandowski, Sessions, and pretty much anyone else he talked to. How can you tell when Trump is lying? His lips (or fingers) are moving. How can you tell when Trump is trying to do something illegal? He meets with you alone. Drain the swamp? They’ll need to burn the White House to purge the slime from this administration.
Assuming Mueller was not intending Bill Barr to be the final judge, who was he thinking could bear this burden? “With respect to whether the President can be found to have obstructed justice by exercising his powers under Article II of the Constitution, we concluded that Congress has authority to prohibit a President’s corrupt use of his authority in order to protect the integrity of the administration of justice.” “The separation-of-powers doctrine authorizes Congress to protect official proceedings, including those of courts and grand juries, from corrupt, obstructive acts regardless of their source.” “The conclusion that Congress may apply the obstruction laws to the President’s corrupt exercise of the powers of office accords with our constitutional system of checks and balances and the principle that no person is above the law.” “I am the Law!” Okay, the last one was not in the report, but Bill Barr took more from Judge Dredd than he did from Mueller.
Conclusion? Trump did everything he could to cover up his big, orange ass. “The term “corruptly” sets a demanding standard. It requires a concrete showing that a person acted with an intent to obtain an improper advantage for himself or someone else, inconsistent with official duty and the rights of others.” This should be Trump’s epitaph. In an ideal world, Congress might act, justice might be served, and Trump Jr. might get eaten by a bear. But I wouldn’t bet on any of it. HOM, HOM, HOM!
Traipse Reports - Trips and Races 