The Dalai Lama is a reincarnated spiritual leader of Tibet. When one passes, another follows to continue his mission. Outside of China, the Dalai Lama is a beloved person. We’re currently on the 14th iteration of the chain of Lamas starting with Gendun Druppa in the 1400s, though some say the chain started much earlier (thanks Wiki). When one passes, another is found through a complex process that I won’t begin to pretend to understand. Check out the recent episode of Last Week Tonight for an entertaining interview with the guy / God. Anyway, the basics are that once the current Lama passes, his spirit returns in a new body who is identified and raised into the role of the new Lama. It’s the Tulku System, hence the title of this piece.
M. Night Shymalan’s Unbreakable posits that every hero needs a mirror villain to maintain balance in the universe or something. So to complete the SAT analogy, David Dunn (Bruce Willis’ good guy): Dalai Lama, just as Elijah Price (Samuel Jackson’s bad guy (sorry for the spoiler, but it’s a 17 year old film)): ______. Who is the crazy bad guy to balance out the Karmically good Lama? I have a theory.
There are a lot of villains in the world today. Kim Jong Un would certainly qualify as a nutjob, hellbent on destruction. Putin has epitomized the better to be feared than loved manifesto, and seems to be only loved by two people (himself and a certain US President whom we’ll discuss shortly). There are surely African warlords and South American despots that are truly terrible, but where’s the fun in picking on an obscure person that most of us haven’t heard of or read about every day? That leaves Mr. Trump.
For all of the good and positive and passive and forward-thinking things Tenzin Gyatso (the current, 14th DL), DJT has bad, negative, aggressive and regressive thoughts to keep us balanced instead of elevating to a higher plane. In any sense of the word, the Donald is clearly not a fan of Nirvana.
The Lama has a sense of humor. Lama is humble. Lama cares about people. Not materialistic. Not full of shit. (Aside from China), Tenzin is revered the world over. Trump is… not. I’d argue he’s perhaps the most irreverent person, except for Bannon who’s still busy trying to suck his own… The high lama has been on the lam for forever from his homeland, yet harbors no grudges. Trump has been spoiled forever, yet his whole existence is a grudge and he is constantly complaining about being persecuted. One is the holiest of holies, the other is the assholiest of assholes (except for the Mooch, but again, we’re not worrying about bit players on this big picture comparison). One is known as a benevolent ruler, full of compassion, in orange robes. The other is orange.
Both are unpopular in China, and both are old men, and I believe they both play golf (though only one has had Bill Murray for a caddy, to my knowledge). That’s as far as the similarities go that I could find.
But it’s too easy to say that the Dalai Lama is a good guy and the Donald is a bad guy. How do we link them back in time? Who preceded our current baddie? Trump was born in 1946. If only there was a historically bad person who died slightly ahead of his birth, we could call him the reincarnation of said baddie. In a church lady voice, who could it be? Could it be, HITLER!?! Villain – check. Warmongering – check. Racist – absolutely. Horrible leader – the worst (though Stalin was pretty horrific as well). Set his country back decades – yes. Died 1945, in time to be reborn in 1946. Is it cheap to toss the Donald into a discussion comparing him to Hitler? Of course it is. But this is free, so you get what you pay for.
I won’t go into to a whole history of Adolf, as he’s still currently recognized as the worst, except by some deplorable people who would not be considering anything I write anyway. Plus, I don’t want to end up on any government watch lists or white power mailing lists for googling the guy (my Jewish last name should be enough of a deterrent to the latter anyway).
So the easy links – Nationalist pride, make Germany great again, white power, violent rhetoric, angry oratory, small hands, bad hair, currently unpopular in Germany. Instead of blaming the Jews, he blames the immigrants. Power hungry, anti-press. AH burned books (except his own), DJT spurns them (except his own). AH didn’t want black people in his Olympics. DJT didn’t want them in his projects. Hitler hated Russia, and Trump… scratch that one. No wonder only the latter had cheesy red hats. Adolf wrote a book about how Jews were bad, socialists were bad, the government was corrupt, the world was shit, etc. Trump’s books may not have hit upon these same themes, but his campaign and inaugural address seemed to.
Now for the bigger stretch – who was Hitler’s progenitor? This one was a lot harder, not because there weren’t bad people then, but because who (besides a historian) knows them well enough? It’s easy enough to point out some historically bad people from the general timeframe, but we’re looking for a very narrow window. I came up with three candidates.
First, John Pemberton. Who? This bastard invented Coca Cola, which is the root of all evil (cavities, obesity, heart disease, … okay maybe not all evil, but some bad stuff). Does this elevate him to the proper level for this discussion? Probably not. But Bloomberg and Michele Obama might support the argument.
Let’s go to candidate number two – Emma Lazarus. Wait, what? How does a young, Jewish poet qualify as a foremother of Hitler? I’m trying to be more fair and balanced with this one. I can’t always just bash the right. So since Ms. Lazarus invited your tired, your poor, wretched refuse…, and since the welfare state and immigrants are the latest bane of Republicans, figured that might make Emma evil in their eyes. Why would you welcome the detritus of society to detract from Elysium? (The movie place, not the afterlife). I confess, it’s a thin charade, and I really don’t think Emma Lazarus should be used in the same sentence as Hitler or Trump. My apologies for having just done that. On to candidate three. [I swear I came up with my tongue-in-cheek blasting of Emma before Stephen Miller, Trump’s creepy stooge (a new, colossal prick), recently disparaged her history in defense of a dickheaded offensive against immigration. Just goes to show, nothing is safe with this administration.]
Jefferson Davis. President of the Confederacy. Leader of the losing side in the United States (first) Civil War. Supported slavery, thin-skinned, bad speeches, bad leader, bad bad bad…Only problem is that he died a few months after AH was born, which is inconvenient for the nitpickers of this narrative. To them I say piss off! JD died in 1889, the same year AH was born. They were both heinous. Close enough. He’s our winner (loser). I’ll argue that Adolf was soulless for the first few months of his existence, before the evil spirit of Jeffy joined him to lead him on his way to a global nightmare.
As with Hitler, I’m not going to offer a history lesson on Jefferson Davis. But some basics: Jeff Davis was in favor of business interests versus common decency (slaver in JD’s days, pollution / human rights for DJT). Considered black people to be inferior. Favored restrictions on who could vote. Loved the south, decried the northeast. JD fought with his generals. Trump knows more than the generals. Both wanted to take power away from the central government, one in the name of “state’s rights”, the other in the name of… Does Donald have a name for his platform? Does he even have a platform?
Trump has argued that the Civil War was unnecessary. That that Lincoln guy was an idiot. Dead Andrew Jackson would have been better. Really, who disses Lincoln? I thought the only thing working against honest Abe was that you wouldn’t want to sit behind him at the theatre (you know, because he was tall). Before someone made the mistake of telling Trump he was the reincarnation of AJ (not AH), do you really believe Trump even knew anything about our seventh president? My money’s on DJT not even knowing Jackson was on the twenty-dollar bill, since the Donald hasn’t had to utilize such small change in his lifetime. From my limited research, Andrew Jackson was crazy (check), populist (check), but also fiercely loyal (blank check), patriotic (crickets), hard-working (I gave up hours ago)… Why would Trump argue that Jackson would have avoided the Civil War when the guy loved warring? He enlisted in the Revolutionary War at the age of 13, while Trump dodged service because of bone spurs. Not exactly kindred spirits. Worse, young Jackson was captured by the British, and we all know how Trump feels about soldiers who were captured. Meanwhile, Lincoln was a Republican elected with less than 50% of the votes, detested by half the country, and a contemporary of Frederick Douglass, so he had more in common with our current president than Jackson did. But I digress. Trump comes from Jefferson Davis via Hitler, and that’s that.
Before Jefferson Davis? He was born in 1808. What baddies died thereabouts? I’m not sure. Let’s just go with Moses Cleaveland. He died in 1806, years after founding Cleveland. Was he a horrible person? Not really, though he did lead some parties that traded trinkets for land to stupid Indians, which is pretty shitty. And he founded Cleveland, which is really shitty. If it wasn’t for him, we might never have to hear about the Browns or Steamers (is there anything from Cleveland not associated with feces?). Plus, I’m still a little bitter that some stupid Ohio town landed the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, which should have been in Philly. So yeah, F@&# that guy!
Okay, so the whole premise is weak, and I can’t run it back very far. But one jackass started Cleveland, another led the slave-holding side in the Civil War, next guy started WWII and exterminated millions of people, and then we have Trump pushing for a Civil War of his own (MAGAs versus Media), alienating our allies around the world, and actively working to murder the earth (Pray for Paris), plus he’s a proud rando pussy-grabber.
I’ll be the first to admit, in blog form, I’m pretty lazy. If I were writing a book or something for a grade or paycheck, I’d owe more research. As is, I’ll stand by the soft argument that some bad dudes pass on their badness down through history, much like the Dalai Lama passes down the good stuff. So can we annex Bedminster and exile Trump to India now?
Daenerys said something about leaving the world a better place than she found it (HBO GOT, not sure if GRRM ever got there in writing); DL wants to leave the earth to ascend to a higher plane; DJT wants to burn it all if it makes him and his cronies more money. Fire and Fury and Greed. He’s the mad king meets Scrooge McDuck.
What do Jefferson Davis, Adolf Hitler and Donald Trump all have in common? (Yes, racism, but we’re going outside the painfully obvious). All led (lead) losing causes and were (will be) on the wrong side of history. Does this make them the worst people on the planet during their time on earth? No, otherwise Jim Kelly would have to be added to the list (sorry Buffalo, that was mean). The blatant racism and unchecked egos and death and destruction might make that case for each. Though to be fair (wouldn’t want to be unfair), each had a peak performance period of putridity (did you know that Putridity is the name of a metal band?). They weren’t the worst from birth, or even from young ages. Sure, they were all probably pretty intolerable as adolescents, but weren’t we all? It’s just that most of us didn’t go from brats to megalomaniacal madmen (at least not yet for those currently reading this but still considering a run for it). During their formative years, they were seedlings for seething anger that would lead them to be shitheads that would take the crown as A1 assholes. While in this gestation period, they weren’t the worst, just the worst in waiting. There were a lot of terrible people between 1945 and our current president. Just because he hadn’t hit his mark, doesn’t mean he wasn’t still manning the mantle. It’s like Jesus (Christ, I’m invoking him now?); From 0 to 30, he was still the Lord and Savior, but he wasn’t out and about acting it. It was only in those last few years that he really filled the role. Same for these antichrists.
The highlight of all this is that when old man Trump passes on and passes the torch, we should have a while before the next king of the dickheads realizes his full potential and wears his crown. At least I have that to look forward to for my son. Some mellow years. Good times. Unless Trump is the end-all be-all (you know he thinks he is) that achieves the final plane that carries mankind to rupture (definitely not rapture). If we’ve been building towards this guy, it’s not an age of enlightenment awaiting at the end. Just the end. Gunga galunga.
[I wrote the above before the recent racist gathering and homegrown terrorism of Charlottesville took place. Trump subsequently seemingly defended (or at least tried to avoid outright condemning) the Neo-Nazis, as well as the great history of the Confederacy. If this isn’t further proof that he’s the spiritual descendant of Jefferson Davis and Adolf Hitler, then I hate to think what he has to do to convince you.]
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